They’re Learning About Love from Somewhere: It Shouldn’t Be Just from Fiction
Advanced Sexual Health Education Certificate

For generations, sex education has focused on the basics: anatomy, reproduction, contraception and preventing sexually transmitted infections. Those topics definitely matter, and research consistently shows that comprehensive sexual health education helps young people make healthier decisions. But many young adults are asking for more.

They're looking for guidance on questions that are harder to answer, like: 

  • How do I know if a relationship is healthy? 
  • What does real consent sound like in an ongoing relationship? 
  • How do I communicate boundaries without hurting someone? 
  • How do I recognize emotional manipulation before it becomes abuse?

These are topics that shape nearly every romantic relationship, yet they're often given far less attention than anatomy or reproduction. When those questions go unanswered, young people don't stop asking them; they simply look elsewhere.

Today, that elsewhere can include streaming platforms, romance novels, reality and dating shows, online influencers and social media. While these can spark meaningful conversations and sometimes portray healthy relationships, they are created to entertain, not educate. As a result, they can blur the line between compelling storytelling and realistic expectations.

Stories Shape Expectations

Humans have always learned through stories. Novels, films and television allow us to experience relationships from another person's perspective. They allow us to explore ideas about love, attraction, heartbreak, jealousy, forgiveness and intimacy.

A young person looks at their phone

That can be incredibly valuable. The challenge comes when stories become substitutes for evidence-based education.

Conflict makes for compelling entertainment. Miscommunication drives plot. Jealousy creates tension. Characters often ignore boundaries, struggle with unhealthy attachment or mistake obsession for devotion because those elements keep audiences engaged.

The same challenge exists online. Relationship advice can come from influencers, podcasts, short videos and anonymous discussion forums. Some creators provide thoughtful, evidence-based guidance. Others rely on oversimplified rules, gender stereotypes or sensational advice designed to generate clicks rather than understanding.

None of this means people should stop scrolling TikTok, reading YA novels or watching rom-coms. The problem arises when entertainment becomes the primary source of relationship education because other sources are missing.

Creating Space for Bigger Conversations

Research suggests that young people want to learn more than just how to avoid unhealthy behaviors. In Australia, researchers found that teenagers wanted relationship and sexuality education to move beyond warnings and legal definitions of consent. Many said they wanted guidance on communication, emotional connection and recognizing healthy behaviors. Rather than focusing exclusively on the negatives, they wanted help building positive relationships.

That finding echoes a broader conversation happening in the United States. UNESCO describes comprehensive sexuality education as encompassing not only physical health, but also relationships, communication, empathy, consent, respect and emotional wellbeing. 

In practice, however, what students receive varies widely by state, district and even individual school. Some students participate in comprehensive, skills-based programs. Others receive limited instruction that leaves little space to discuss more nuanced relational and emotional issues.

Even among adults, many report wishing they had learned more. A 2025 Kinsey Institute survey found that roughly one-third of participants had never received information about healthy relationships, communicating with partners, dating or sexual pleasure. More than 90% believed additional education on at least some of these topics would have positively affected their lives.

Building Relationship Literacy

Improving relationship education doesn't require abandoning conversations about pregnancy, contraception or sexually transmitted infections. Instead, it means recognizing that sexuality education is also relationship education.

Like critical thinking and time management skills, relationship literacy develops through practice, discussion and reflection. Few people are born knowing how to navigate difficult conversations, repair trust after conflict or balance independence with emotional closeness.

We need to equip young people with the skills to build healthy relationships, including how to:

  • Communicate wants and boundaries clearly
  • Respect another person's autonomy
  • Navigate disagreements without manipulation
  • Recognize unhealthy or controlling behaviors
  • Understand that consent is an ongoing conversation rather than a one-time event
  • Balance independence with emotional closeness

Young people deserve opportunities to discuss communication, trust, respect, emotional safety, conflict, consent and media literacy alongside traditional health topics. Those conversations don't belong exclusively in schools either. Families, healthcare providers, community organizations and trusted adults all have important roles to play. If we don't teach young people what healthy relationships look like, they'll piece together answers from the stories that surround them.

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Become a Trusted Voice of Sexual Health Education

If you’re interested in learning more about how you can promote healthy sexual and relationship education in your professional life, explore the Advanced Sexual Health Education Graduate Certificate at the University of Minnesota College of Continuing and Professional Studies. You can supplement your current role with specialized training and even work toward AASECT Sexuality Educator Certification.